PERCEPTION AND RESULTANT ANGER

PERCEPTION AND ANGER

How can we educate ourselves on how to change a belief, or how to feel differently about an event or stop our judgmental thoughts?

Being able to reframe or dispute our thinking from a different perspective and modify our thought process is based on what we think or tell ourselves about an event and not the event. People or situations do not make us angry…it’s thinking angrily about the things that happen.
What we think or tell ourselves about an event makes us angry…not the event itself!

When we judge or evaluate something or someone as negative, our responses and behaviors reflect our reactions in a defensive way.
The same is in reverse…Evaluate the situation in a more positive way, and the response becomes less upsetting and can help us reduce anger and the need to control.

The best way to begin is by becoming more aware of the triggering thoughts and consequences of your anger.

The following are some suggestions to help you understand your anger and lessen the chances of angry outbursts:

• Identify your upsetting feelings. Ask yourself, “What did I feel first?” and know that this is a signal that you are telling yourself upsetting things. This means being more “aware” of what you feel. Remember, anger is a secondary emotion. We always feel something else first, even if we are not immediately aware of it.
• Identify your upsetting thoughts. Ask yourself, “Why do I have to get my way”. “Why should others think the same way I do?” Question your upsetting thoughts.
• Reframe your upsetting thoughts with a positive self-message. Perhaps a positive message to take the place of a self-centered, demanding thought. Hear yourself say, “Is there a more helpful way I can look at this situation?” Reframing is changing the way you perceive an event.

• Be aware of your options and make a mental list of the constructive actions you can take to resolve the problem situation.
• If you are not sure of how you perceive the problem situation, Take a Time Out! Disengage yourself from the situation and say, “I want to think about what just happened before I say something I might regret”. Temporarily remove yourself from the situation, which will give you the opportunity to think through what is happening. Then decide ways of resolving the situation in a manner that does not lead to aggression or violent words and actions.

Anger Management Services & Executive Coaching

In an age of media overload and the lack of effective skills to monitor and manage stress, it is necessary that new resources of information be available to men, women and adolescents in order to avoid result anger and frustration that we see in our daily lives.

Anger Management Services is proud to announce our Anger Management Program consisting of the following components:

1) Our clientele consists of adults, executive, court mandated and self-referred individuals, employer referrals, hi-profile individuals and couples.

2) Physicians, lawyers, executives and professionals are able to participate in our Anger Management Program in the privacy of their own office or in the offices of Anger Management Services.

3) In-service presentations include training to staff and employers. All programs are by appointment only.

4) You will establish a "new" defining characteristic called Emotional Intelligence (EQ).

5) Help yourself to identify your stressors and develop and Stress-Resistant Personality.

6) Anger is a learned behavior and can be relearned to gain better control of destructive reactions.

7) Communication skills are taught that will open the door to new ways of problem solving while remaining non-aggressive. All sessions are customized to the needs of our clients.

Anger Management Services,

http://www.anger411.com

info@anger411.com

9171 Wilshire Blvd., #680 Beverly Hills, CA 90210

Beverly Hills, CA 90210

310-276-1342

ANGER MANAGEMENT AND EXECUTIVE COACHING GAINS ACCEPTANCE FROM PSYCHIATRISTS, PSYCHOLOGISTS AND PROFESSIONALS IN THE FIELD OF ADDICTIONS

Anger Management Gains Acceptance from Psychiatrists, Psychologists and Professionals in the field of Addictions
During the first quarter of 2007 an unanticipated shift has become apparent relative to anger management referrals nationwide. Psychiatrists and Psychoanalysts are beginning to refer patients to anger management providers in significant numbers for assessments, as well as executive coaching/anger management classes. This trend is occurring in California.

Medical Boards throughout the nation as well as Hospital Chains have accepted the Anderson & Anderson model of executive coaching/anger management for “disruptive physicians” and nurses. A major Hospital Chain has selected us to provide executive coaching for its physicians in 63 hospitals.This dramatic shift is evidence of the growing public and professional acknowledgement of the fact that anger management is not a mental health intervention. There is nothing in the training of Psychiatrists, Psychoanalysts, Psychologists or Clinical Social Workers to equip them to assess and provide classes for people who have anger control problems, but not nervous, nor psychiatric, disorders. The American Psychiatric Association has determined that anger is a normal human emotion rather than a pathological condition.

Referrals of persons suffering from mental disorders which include unhealthy anger as a prominent symptom have been received .

A sample of these psychiatric disorders includes the following:

Bipolar disorder • Major depression • Obsessive compulsive disorder • Substance abuse disorder.

The referring physicians for these patients are all continuing to treat them with a combination of psychotherapy, psychotropic medication and or psychoanalysis. Since anger management is neither classified as counseling nor psychotherapy, this developmental training skill does not in any way interfere with psychiatric or mental health treatment.

Anger management is an educational intervention designed to teach skills in recognizing and managing anger and stress as well as increasing competency in assertive communication and emotional intelligence.

KAREN GOLOB, CAMF, CDC

ANGER MANAGEMENT SERVICES

www.anger411.com

info@anger411.com

Beverly Hills, CA 90210

310-276-1342

MANAGING RESISTANCE IN EXECUTIVE COACHING CLIENTS

EXECUTIVE COACHING – RESPONSE AND INTERVENTION

The Executive Vice President of a large corporation in Los Angeles contacted me seeking assistance with a valuable staff member who was exhibiting an aggressive edge that was causing tension at their workplace.

According to the information I was given, this employee had no idea that her colleagues felt she was addressing them with a defensive attitude and unpleasant inappropriate/angry comments.

It has been my experience that in working with this type of referral, the identified client must be handled sensitively with discretion and honesty when explaining why he or she is being directed to Executive Coaching by his/her employer.

Clients in this category are generally resistant to change and tend to perceive their referral to Executive Coaching with a degree of suspicion. I cannot stress enough the importance of honesty in explaining to the referred client that Executive Coaching is not psychotherapy or counseling. Rather it is an individual tutoring program based on the client’s personal scores that are a result of an assessment that is given at the beginning of the Program. This assessment measures the areas in which each person can improve interactions, measure performance in stress management and communication, increase emotional intelligence (EQ), and address anger management, as well as assess the client’s motivation to make changes in his/her life.
Further explanation to the program emphasizes that all sessions are one-to one, all information remains confidential; and, no one from his/her workplace can access information regarding their progress. This information will reduce tension on the client’s part and assure his/her attendance at the first session and active participation at subsequent sessions.

Executive Coaching is not limited to workplace situations. Self-referred clients greatly benefit in this skill building program, which teaches behavioral strategies and awareness of productive ways in which to communicate in one's personal life.

Anger Management Services provides flexible hours to accommodate obligations, fit the needs of the individual and respect anonymity. Sessions are by appointment only.
This program is also available as an in-service seminar and workplace presentation, which will provide tools and skills that address working with individuals when disruptive interactions are occurring.

Karen Golob, CAMF, CH
Anger Management Services
Beverly Hills, CA
www.anger411.com
email: info@anger411.com

ANGER MANAGEMENT, LOS ANGELES, CA

ANGER MANAGEMENT, LOS ANGELES

In an age of media overload and the lack of effective skills to monitor and manage stress, it is necessary that new resources of information be available to men, women and adolescents in order to avoid resultant anger and frustration that we see in our daily lives.
ANGER MANAGEMENT SERVICES is proud to announce our Anger Management Program consisting of the following components:

• Our clientele consists of adults, executives, court mandated and self-referred individuals ,employer-mandated referrals, hi-profile individuals and couples.
• Physicians, lawyers, executives and professionals are able to participate in our Anger Management Program in the privacy of their own offices or in the offices of Anger Management Services.
• In-service seminars and workplace presentations include trainings to staff and employees.
  All programs are by appointment only.

THE PROGRAM:

• You will establish a "new" defining characteristic called Emotional Intelligence (EQ).
• Helping you to identify your stressors, will enable you to develop a Stress-Resistant Personality by learning techniques that are easy to use in any situations.
• Since anger is a learned behavior and response, healthier action skills are taught and practiced, as you relearn how to gain better control of destructive reactions.
• Communication skills are taught that will open the door to new ways of problem solving while remaining non-aggressive.

All sessions are customized to the needs of our clients and are by appointment.
CALL 310-276-1342
PLEASE VISIT OUR WEB SITE: http://www.anger411.com/
OR EMAIL US: info@anger411.com
Posted by Karen Golob, Anger Management Services at 11:45 PM 0 comments
Labels: ANGER MANAGEMENT IN LOS ANGELES, CA

TIME MAGAZINE (12/18/06) ON "EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE"

THE "DONALD" AND "EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE"

TO QUOTE: TIME MAGAZINE'S ARTICLE ON PAGE 53, IN THEIR 12/18/06 ISSUE.

"Developing good people skills. EQ, or emotional intelligence, is as important as IQ for success in today's workplace."

There is no doubt that "the" Donald has been successful in his business life and is not lacking in IQ...however, what is more important is how his EQ could use a little help.

EQ=Emotional Intelligence. In my opinion, a person's EQ is far more important. To have the capacity to create positive outcomes in relationships with others, as well as the capacity to sense the feelings and needs of others, can result in better communication skills. When you watch the "Apprentice" TV show, you will notice that Donald prides himself on listening to people's views, problems and concerns.

I have noticed the "immature" bantering between Rosie and Donald....is this Emotional Intelligence?

As you can see....social awareness (the ability to read, understand and empathically address the emotions of another person) is missing.

As you can see...relationship management (the ability to manage and seek common ground and build a healthy rapport) is missing.

Do they care? Maybe not. Is this all hype? Maybe so.

Emotional Intelligence is an important communication skill that can be learned.

If you want more information about this very important subject contact ANGER MANAGEMENT SERVICES in Beverly Hills, CA, for more information on how to develop helpful people skills through better communication and raise your EQ.

email - info@anger411.com

WEB SITE: www.anger411.com

BAGELS AND ANGER

BAGELS AND ANGER

Yesterday I walked into one of West L. A.’s well-known bagel stores to purchase a dozen whole wheat and raisin bagels.

The 4 workers behind the counter were preoccupied; and so I, along with 3 other people, just stood there waiting to be acknowledged.
Since the lack of service lasted several minutes, I decided to say “hello” to the 4 workers, so they would look up.

The response from one of the young men was an “ANGRY” and “RAGING” …”We’re busy!”…and then silence in the store. After a few minutes, one of the workers came to the front of the counter and said he was sorry I had to wait. I placed my order, got my bagels and proceeded to leave the store, when it struck me that all of this was not the way I wanted to be treated.

So, I waited until the “ANGRY” young man was visible to my eye, and I walked over to him and asked if I could speak to him. I don’t think I can put in print how his eyes looked, but I’ll try. If you were to look at a charging tiger in the eyes right before attacking you, that would be the look.

I asked his permission to talk to him. Hesitantly, he said o.k. What proceeded was my explanation of how I experienced his reaction to my “hello”, and how I thought his inability to treat a customer with respect was probably a red flag of impending trouble in other areas of his life.

I told him I was an Anger Management Facilitator. He explained that his boss had just “chewed him out” for smoking on the premises and that he was so mad at his boss that he was shaking inside his body.
We talked for while; and I asked him if I could give him some suggestions on ways to speak to others, when he felt like he did. Again, he hesitantly said o.k. He said he had NO role models in his life that spoke with respect to others and no one had ever given him words to say or ways to think when he was angry. He also admitted that other problems were occurring in his life that were adding to his aggressive reactions. I basically said he needed to get help with his aggression and anger or he could end up in jail or dead. He agreed! He put his hand out to me to shake; and thanked me for not ignoring his behavior. He said he appreciated that I had cared to talk to him. We shook hands and I said goodbye.

How often have you been mistreated by a service person while you were shopping or were you the worker who was mistreating the customer? Do you take your personal problems to work with you and then act out in nasty or angry ways to others around you?

If all this sounds too familiar to you, for further information on how you can help yourself (or someone else you know),
Call Anger Management Services,
Karen Golob, CAMF, CH
310-276-1342
or email: info@anger411.com